Hey! I'm back from Taiwan! The trip was quite decent, but also very tiring. And now I have to rush my Stanford essays. Gah. Application essays are such terrible things. While I do appreciate the opportunity to reflect on my life, my priorities and all that I have done and experienced so far, merely reflecting and trying to organise one's reflections into a coherent whole are two very different matters. Sigh. Besides, I'm not very good at presenting a pleasant image of myself.

December 15th. I have finally come to it. I must brace myself for the blow that might soon strike. I didn't really realise how much it matters to me until the results are about to be revealed. It wasn't a sudden impulse after all, but a hidden dream that I have always harboured, but never dared to put into words. And it's so unsettling to want to know, yet not want to know. When one doesn't know one can hope, knowing the results has a certain irrevocable finality that hurts [only if the results are undesirable, of course]. Yet the suspense of not knowing is almost equally unbearble.

Haha. I shall stop blabbering nonsense. If only everything will turn out right, if only. *crosses fingers* Gah.

And now to carry on with my essays.