Hello. Have been feeling rather stressed over the past week or so, agonising over UK applications. I slept at 2am every day last week, but managed to stay quite alert in school somehow. But I think I was a little dazed, and the alertness was stress-induced rather than a real, clear-minded alertness. *sighs*

There is so much to do. So much. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I just want to hide in a corner and pretend all this isn't happening. I get very stressed over applications, and end up spending eons online reading about colleges, trying to help myself gain some insights into the course I am applying, and worrying over my lack of a personal statement. And then I sort of remember that all these efforts will be futile without decent prelim results. So I start stressing over the way I have been procrastinating and the slow rate at which I study -- I literally crawl through my notes, yet retain nothing afterwards. I don't know how I manage to do that, but I do. Really. Dear me.

I'm sorry I sound so incoherent. I alternate between a state of desperation and a state of denial. During the former I panic; during the latter I pretend that there are no deadlines to meet and no essays to write. I don't know which is worse: to be despairing, or to pretend not to despair? Neither is very productive. I haven't really done much; I have spent most of my energy worrying about not having done much. It's really time to change that I suppose.

Sigh.

I think I am driving myself mad. Soon I will join dear Yunxuan at IMH. *sighs*