*sighs*

Am feeling a little depressed.

I don't like to compare with people. And I don't like to avoid talking to people just so that my pathetically delicate feelings won't be hurt by their joy and their triumph. But I'm just selfish and sensitive that way, I'm sorry.

And then sometimes you feel like you really just shouldn't bother, but you still do, because you enjoy bothering. Meanwhile you blame yourself for feeling like you shouldn't bother, because it seems so wrong and against everything you believe in. Finally you feel depressed because you bother, and everyone else doesn't seem to. You end up in a vicious cycle of guilt mingled with self pity mingled with a little bit of sadness.

I need to grow up.

[I feel incoherent and random today, perhaps because I actually intended to go buy a diary book but erm, forgot. So I have no place to rant but here. My apologies. Erm. If you're disturbed, just don't read, or read and ignore. This was whited for your benefit and mine. Thank you. ]