I don't like indecision. But I always seem to be faced with decisions that I cannot quite make. I wish I were a totally follow-the-heart or completely rational and practical person, instead of being inbetween the two. But then of course my heart or mind would change from time to time and then I won't know myself again.

Orientation was quite fun, but there were a little too many people, so it was hard to manage. *sighs* I realise I cannot really act leaderish or as though I knew what was happening, was just blur and bullyable as usual, which shouldn't have been the way. Gah. Felt rather inadequate... not only am I unable to paiban, but I cannot organise people either.

Anyway, we have no school today! *smiles* Guess we are being at home so that when we discover our posting results we will be able to deal better with the joy or trauma, depending. Well, it's a good thing, since I can now take the chance to sleep, rest and catch up on my extremely-behind school work, [the blurrifying chem for instance, or the bio which I can understand mostly, but don't have time to absorb] since the Mar hols was ridiculous packed with all sorts of things. And hopefully when I stop being behind on things/feeling lost/feeling inadequate I will be able to enjoy school properly and spend more time interacting with my nice class [and stop being the antisocial person that I am now]. Gah I need to sort things out with myself.